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Black Death, I mean Friday

avatar by Benthamite
November 28th, 2008 at 3:36 PM
Filed under: News Story Commentary
I had the Black Friday shopping experience the year before last. Was it worth it? No. To make a boring story short, I bought surround sound speakers that are now junk in the closet and a couple of Polos that don’t fit anymore.

Total savings: Maybe $50.

Total hours of sleep lost: About 4

Change of dying: Statistically significant

“Black Friday,” according to Wikipedia contributors, is the traditional beginning of the Christmas shopping season, whose name was derived from heavy shopping traffic and the implicit reference to the chaos of the Black Tuesday stock market crash. For me, Black Friday is a nightmare.

If there’s not a Black Friday horror movie out yet, someone should get writing and get Paris Hilton to produce it. If there’s no market for a movie, at least an episode of Cops. I'm joking about the last one.

At this moment, the stories of violence are beginning to roll in. First up, the trampling of a store clerk, and then a murderous shooting. What’s new, you might ask? In terms of perpetual Black Friday violence, absolutely nothing. In terms of Black Friday’s connotation, I vouch to say it's now officially morbid.

Here’s a quote from CNN’s story:

"I don't know what it's worth to Wal-Mart or to any of these stores that run these sales events," Fleming said, "but it has become common knowledge that large crowds do gather on the Friday after Thanksgiving, in response to these sales and in an effort to do their holiday shopping at the cheapest prices. I think it is incumbent upon the commercial establishments to recognize that this has the potential to occur at any store. Today, it happened to be Wal-Mart. It could have been any other store where hundreds and hundreds of people gather."

As Cicero said, "No sane man will dance." For the last two years, I've said the same of shopping Black Friday. This list of Black Friday safety tips was probably created by someone cutting and pasting from the State Department's international travel warnings Web site.

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avatar julita on December 2nd, 2008 at 12:04 PM

That's extreme! No safety at all for the shoppers.

avatar CBRADIO on November 28th, 2008 at 5:31 PM

HA! yeah...I never understood it. That video was nuts.


Black Death, I mean Friday


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